One-liners

Some one-liners that I've come up with (or at least, co-discovered):

• Is the glass half-empty or is it half-full? Well, ask yourself whether it was full earlier or was it empty!
• It is easier being master of ONE than being Jack of ALL.
• They say, there's a thin line between being a fan and being a stalker. I say, it's usually a 10 inch thick concrete wall!
• If the way to a man's heart goes through his stomach, then that 'way' must begin somewhere down there!
• If and when I go up to the Heaven, somebody is going to face a severe ass-kicking.
• Is this the darkest hour before the dawn or the calm before a storm?
• Girlfriends are like credit-cards. It's difficult to get one unless you already have another.
• Time is the worst teacher. It takes the exam first, and then gives the lesson!

Puns

• Do we call them that, because they are supposed to get 'crushed'?
• They utterly lose sportsmanship, when they start playing games.
• They say, Everything is fair in love and war. I say, Nothing is fair in love and war!
• Too much curiosity killed the cat. Nevermind. It had nine lives...
• Egality forms significant portion of Legality!
• Why not call it a 'glance', instead of a 'watch'...
• It's fun to pun!

Satire

• So you thought getting into IIT was difficult? Well, try getting out of one!
• I think of you as my brother! You know... the 'evil twin' kind!
• If only the stairway to heaven was up for sale!